His Waves

I really needed to be reminded of this. Why is it so easy to turn to God in the good times, yet when we struggle we forget Him?  We should always find our peace in our Lord and only Him. So if you find yourself amidst waves today, remember who controls them.  Hold tightly to the one who can calm even the rougheat seas.

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Psalm 42:5-6
Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again--my Savior my God! Now I am deeply discouraged, but I will remember you.

They are HIS waves, whether they break over us, hiding His face in smothering spray and foam; or smooth and sparkling, spread a path before us, and to our haven bear us safely home.

They are HIS waves, whether for our sure comfort He walks across them, stilling all our fear; or to our cry there comes no aid nor answer, and in the lonely silence none is near.

They are HIS waves, whether we are hard-striving through tempest-driven waves that never cease, while deep to deep with turmoil loud is calling; or at His word they hush themselves in peace.

They are HIS waves, whether He separates them, making us walk dry ground where seas had flowed; or let tumultuous breakers surge about us, rushing unchecked across our only road.

They are HIS waves, and He directs us through them; so He has promised, so His love will do. Keeping and leading, guiding and upholding, to His sure harbor, He will bring us through.

-Annie Johnson Flint

6. Communication

a. Communication is the glue that holds relationships together and keeps them functioning successfully, whether it's a friendship or a leadership.  There are three basic types of communication: unassertive, assertive, and aggressive.  Unassertive is letting people, in a sense, walk all over you, with the mindset that what you have to say isn't good enough, so you just keep quiet.  Being assertive in your communication is saying only what is needed to get your point across.  Aggressive communication is valuing what you have to say over what everyone else has to say.  I would put myself between unassertive and assertive.  I definitely don't think I push my thoughts and ideas on others and at times I am healthily assertive in what I have to say, but sometimes I leave a conversation wishing I had said more of what I really thought.  I need to find a healthy balance in this area of my life.
On the Listening Self-Evaluation I took, which assessed my listening skills, I scored a 69.  The average score is 61.  I think I am a pretty good listener, which probably stems from some of my top strengths: developer, restorative, and empathy.  I am a very empathetic and compassionate person, which is why I'm in the Social Work field.  I enjoy listening to people's struggles and triumphs in order to help and encourage them.  Some things I do need to work on is finding a healthy balance between giving my own input and advice and just simply taking the time to listen to someone talk.  At times I may need to just listen and not talk, but there are also times when advice or guidance is helpful.

b. I have encountered some minor ethical dilemmas in my life.  When I have heard of some people breaking little rules or school policies I face a dilemma.  Should I say something to them about it, even though it doesn't seem like a big deal?  Or should I just let it slide because it could be much worse, and this way I won't seem overbearing or judgmental.  In these cases sometimes I have to go off of rule-based thinking--following a principle that everyone should follow.  It's based on a duty of following and encouraging others to follow the rules.  Not that I necessarily think that they are harming anyone, although they could be indirectly, but breaking rules is disrespectful and could lead to breaking more and bigger rules.

5. Culture

My residence hall has a culture all its own.  Phillipps Hall, along with NCU, follows Christian values and beliefs.  For the most part, we live as a loving Christian community.  We value things like modesty, prayer, and morals.  Community is something that is stressed a lot.  Hall events, floor events, bro/sis events, etc.  Some behavioral norms could include: hanging out in the stairwells with the opposite sex when it's not open dorms, boys blasting their music, such as Friday, by Rebecca Black or Sexy Sax Man, loud enough for all of Phillipps to hear.  Random dance parties, forgetting your keys and pounding on the door, floor transfer days eating in the hallway, Lifecore on Tuesdays, PG on Wednesdays.  Each floor has its own traditions and perks such as the 4E rap and the 1W time capsule.  There is also a distinct dialect of language that has accumulated over the years.  Shortening of words such as: probs-probably, totes-totally, best evs-best ever; and the acronyms such as RD, ARD, DA, RA, and DL.  Oh and don't forget all the different names for meetings: in-service, in-hall, floor council, and wing council.  

Gender, race, and ethnicity all can influence a person's values and their leadership.  These differences are oftentimes put into categories and people tend to associate with people who are similar to them in these areas.  Because of this, they share common beliefs and values and are spread to others of the same.  Since girls all live together on their floors, they will all probably have somewhat similar mindsets about certain things simply by being associated and influenced by the same people all the time.  This also affects leadership because a person needs to lead in a way that will most closely impact the set of people they are leading.  In this way, a leader needs to know the needs and values of the group as it is and determine in what terms they need to be led.  Through an understanding of the cultural factors of a group grows a greater ability to lead.

4. What I Value & Why

Growing up in a Christian home and being very involved in my church had a huge influence in my set of values.  These values I have had most of my life and still do.  I value first of all my relationship with God.  My church believes in having a person relationship with God, and because I've been in an environment that values that, I do, too.  My relationship with God is the thing I value most in my life, and that will never change.  Another value I have is modesty.  My parents value modesty and have taught me about why I should be modest.  Also, the environments I've been in and the friends I've been associated with have also valued modesty for the most part, so it has been easy to keep that as a value in my own life.  All of my experiences in my household and my family as well as my church and my friends there have most influenced the values I continue to obtain in my life.  I am so thankful that I have grown up seeing certain values in order that I might have them impressed upon my life.

Bennis's belief about self knowledge has to do with knowing one's strengths and weaknesses and using that knowledge to work within your strengths.  By identifying your strengths and weaknesses, you can build up your strengths to the point where your weaknesses are irrelevant.  Or, you can build up your weaknesses and turn them into strengths.  Either way, being away of both of these helps a person to acquire a self-knowledge that will prepare them for success in various situations.  In my own life, I have definitely had to come to terms with the fact that I am not going to be good at everything I do, which is very hard for me.  I'm an achiever, according to the strength's finder test, and to most people who know me, so it is very humbling to realize I really cannot be good at everything.  I need to accept my weaknesses and either be okay with it or try to work with them how they are and hopefully grow in that area.  This has also helped me to grow in the areas I am naturally good at and build up those strengths so that I can actually use them for what God intended.

I've been my own best teacher by just learning from the experiences of my life, whether they were successes or mistakes.  I have learned to accept responsibility when I am wrong or when I am lacking in something. For instance, as a leader this year, I have had to realize the areas in which I am lacking in, and fix those things.  Because by not being up to pace, it not only hurts me, but the people around me.  With learning, I have learned a lot through reflection lately.  Sometimes I will be telling someone about something that happened and suddenly it will click.  God has been tying together all these different experiences in my life and showing me how he is using them to teach me and to stretch me.  It takes me a while to get it sometimes, but when I do, it's so obvious the lessons that God is working on me with.  Lately, God has even been using past experiences and past journal entries to teach me things now.  God is not limited to our time, and for that I am so thankful! :)

3. Inclusion

There have been many times where I have felt excluded from a group.  Without pointing out a specific experience, there have been many times in my life where I have felt like an outsider, even though I was among friends.  I think the case where most people end up feeling this way is when the people they are with seem to have a lot in common or some similar experience in which you do not relate.  As humans, we are really relational and we long for relationship in which we can share and relate to similar experiences and feelings.  When people connect on a level like that, the connection is strong, but when someone feels like they haven't had the same type of experience, it can be hard to feel included.  It helps when the people you are with help bring you into the situation and maybe explain an inside joke so that you can laugh about it to or just help you to understand where they are coming from.  For me, there have been times when I have started to feel excluded with friends who shared a fun experience that I wasn't a part of, but they would begin telling it TO me so that I could feel included, even if I hadn't been there.

In high school I was a part of a dance competition group in which I believe was very successful.  As a team, we had to share the same goal and purpose for being a part.  In order for us to succeed individually, though, we had to feel included in the group.  Keeping a positive attitude and being encouraging to one another definitely helped, because we were able to take critiques from each other and learn from them instead of getting upset.  Because we had built those relationships with each other and are able to build each other up, we were able to work hard individually and strive to succeed.  To feel accepted and included as a group allowed for each of us to work hard individually to improve our skills.  The two go hand in hand.

This is so true for every situation.  In order to work well and be successful as a group, we need to have that individual strength to be able to include others and ourselves.  Once we feel that inclusion, growing as a team or an organization will come a whole lot easier.